Turkey Umu

What's an Umu you ask?
Well, it a traditional Samoan oven. It's made by heating river rocks and piling your food under them and then steaming everything under banana leaves. We've never done an umu before and having enjoyed the Roth's Easter Turkey Umu immensely, I decided to do a Turkey Umu for Thanksgiving. The following is a how not to and how to do, an umu (say that 5 times fast!)

Me in my best Martha Stewart pose! "No really, it was no work at all!" Ha.




How Not to Do An Umu
1. Invite lots of people to your house on a major holiday on a tropical island where it rains A LOT and not have a covered outdoor area to make the umu.
2. Leave the carefully gathered river rocks (apparently lava rocks explode when heated-something that would have become glaringly apparent after I had started my umu, if I had not been forwarned) outside while the heavens drench them over several days. These rocks actually cracked and exploded too as it was their first use and they weren't seasoned.
3. Decide the best place to have the umu, is not right out in the open where the rain can come and douse the fire, but snug up against a rock wall under the shelter of a palm tree. Sounded good to me . . . apparently not the best place.
4. Watch as your FH (future husband for those of you not hip to bridal blogging abbreviations) digs a big pit and (very nicely I should say) lines the pit with the river rock all of his own invention! A very bad idea indeed we were to find out. Einstein looks a little concerned. "Don't these guys know how to build an umu?! I'll never get any turkey leftovers at this rate!"
5. Don't buy wood well in advance. Depend on "picking up some crates or something" the day of the big meal, they will undoubtedly be soaked with the previous monsoonal rains the day before. Your dear friends will have to pay with the shirt off their white palagi backs to buy you semi-dry wood on a rainy, Thanksgiving day. Thanks Jay!
6. Don't have a large pile of coconut husks as firestarter for the fire. "WHAT! Nobody told me I needed coconut husks!" Something that is done over a long period of time, whilst enjoying said coconuts prior to them becoming husks.

How to Make an Umu
1. Allow your Samoan friend to come over to help you even though you are COMPLETELY sure you will have things under control.
2. Have an open area (duh, there's lots of smoke with the umu, as if I didn't notice the multitudes of plumes of smoke all over the island on Sundays) to make your umu (covered is preferred but if your Samoan friend brings dry weather with her, then you are good to go).
3. Have a flat board or corrugated tin for the bottom of your umu.
4. Hack a banana tree up into logs and create a square around the umu area.
5. Lay out your wet rocks to dry in the sun (not piled up in an aesthetically pleasing, yet pathetic, display of pride of ownership)
6. Make one layer of rocks in your square.
7. Build a fire with your hoards of coconut husks, kindling and dry wood you've had stored for just this occasion. (Or pull out the charcoal if you didn't do the above and pretend that this is the right way to make a fire-geesh, coconut husks-I'm so sure!) Do you think Fua is asking god what she was thinking offering to help these palagis?



8. Stack your wood in a log cabin style over the base layer of rocks.










9. Pile your now sun dried rocks all over the wood.
10. Let those puppies burn, baby! Your wood will burn down and you'll be left with piping hot rocks. Which you will knock around your umu area until you get to your base layer of rocks. (Pray it doesn't rain at this point and turn your fire into a smoldering heap)




11. Put your food on the Umu. Usually you will have way more food in the umu than we did (I just wanted to do the turkeys and have the rest of the food be US Traditional as we get Samoan traditional all the time) Fua asked me several times if that was all we were putting in. I'm not sure she felt all her hard work was being put to good use.
12. Pile all those hot rocks on top of your food (the food is usually whole foods that have peals you can remove, things wrapped in banana leaves or in tin foil). Big things like pigs and our turkeys often have a rock placed inside to ensure it cooks well.
13. Pile the masses of banana leaves you've collected that day-thus improving your view-over the food.









14. Don't question your Samoan friend when she covers the whole thing with a plastic tarp. Especially when she is walking around with her rock poking stick that she cut down and sharpened herself with a machete.








15. Sit back and wipe your sweaty brow for 2 hours.


















16. Uncover it all.











17. Eat and impress your friends who all tell you the turkey is the best they've ever had.









We had a great feast. We had a ton of people in our house, about 15 adults and a slew of children (too many to count).

As entertainment Matt backed off our driveway and provided the men folk with an opportunity to chin scratch, walk around lookin' at things and then attempt a variety of engineering feats, to have Markus throw on the tow rope and have my wonderful Subby pull the car out! Yeah, Subby!





There was also a fair amount of ruthless Apples to Apples and some cut throat Badminton played that day. Markus broke out his home brew and we ate a lot. Melanie even made pumpkin pie! I think the Turkey Umu will now be an annual event, as I can only imagine doing all that work once a year.